10 College Admissions Essays That Worked—And Why

Every now and then, an admissions essay makes news headlines because it is *that* good. Or that original (like that ode to Spongebob SquarePants that just went viral). To help inspire your own standout personal statements, I broke down what makes these personal essays so compelling to admissions officers. And because the first (and hardest step) of essay writing begins with choosing your topic, see below for examples to get your creative juices flowing. Warning: whatever you do, do *not* try copying any specific creative idea unless you have a unique twist on the idea. Admissions officers know which essays are trending, so don't risk it!

TOPIC 1: Redefining The Idea of Masculinity While Growing Up With Two Moms

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to all 10 schools he applied to, including Cornell University, Dartmouth College, Yale University, Princeton University, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. 

WHY IT WORKED: Colleges want to see exceptional students who overcome adversity because it shows strength and students are not afraid to challenge societal norms, because that takes risk. This essay manages to convey both at once.

"The Norwalk High School senior said the experience of being raised by two moms has helped him grow into his own version of manhood instead of letting his peers or society define it for him. He wrote about this experience in his college admissions essay, challenging social expectations that seem to equate manhood with demonstrating authority or not showing emotion. This did not reflect his experience growing up as the only male in the household, with two moms and a younger sister." Like he said: “Perhaps the expectations of males in society should be redefined: Acquiring authority through pursuing passion. Manifesting manhood through sophistication. Earning reputation by showing respect. Demonstrating strength through vulnerability.” [The Hour]

TOPIC 2: How a Father's Death Inspired A Passion for PreMed

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted into all eight Ivy League schools

WHY IT WORKED: She took what could be a cliched Lifetime movie topic and turned it into a fire that fueled her premed passion and showcased her maturity.  After her father died of pancreatic cancer, she not only helped raise her two younger brothers but also wanted to join the fight against the disease – and so it became the subject of her college admissions essay.

"I think seeing him in the hospital atmosphere, seeing the strongest person I had ever known get smaller physically, it was a hard experience, it was really traumatizing on different levels," said Rezk, now an 18-year-old senior at Hudson County High Tech High School in North Bergen. "But I think that in itself, it kind of invoked this feeling in me that I had a responsibility to other people's dads, that if I had the ability to change the way that other people's lives could be affected then I should take advantage of that. I'm kind of honoring my dad in that way," she added. [NJ.com]

TOPIC 3: Humor & Pizza Make for a Winning Recipe

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Yale

WHY IT WORKED: First things first, this was a supplemental 200-word essay question. But it’s a great example of how you can really showcase your voice and add a unique sense of humor to your application. “I laughed so hard on your pizza essay. I kept thinking that you are the kind of person that I would love to be best friends with,” a Yale admissions officer wrote. Her great trick? She starts "in media res," which means means starting in the middle of the action. She writes, “The sound of my doorbell starts off high, then the pitch mellows out, and the whole effect mimics an instrumental interpretation of rainfinally finding a steady pace at which to fall.” This is an old literary trick that is made for creative writing and something I recommend everyone consider for their essay. Throwing the reader into the story like that with no context like that is a great way to grab their attention. She shows, not tells, which is a critical creative writing skill. [WashPo] 

TOPIC 4: A Devotion to Costco (& A Clever Way to Show Curiosity)

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to five Ivy League schools (Yale, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell). Oh, and Stanford.

WHY IT WORKED: Describing a regular shopping trip to Costco may not sound revolutionary, but in this case, it worked because it served as a clever, original way to show her curiosity and advanced understanding of human dynamics and consumerism. This essay also uses humor and wit successfully to highlight her personality. Some key quotes: "I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty ­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?" (Read more about why it worked here and her full essay here).

TOPIC 5: A Fried Rice Recipe that Shows Your Voice

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Johns Hopkins University.

WHY IT WORKED: Using a mix of creative writing license and her authentic voice, what could have been a boring recipe became an exploration in acute self-awareness that admissions officers will be reading this. She places us in her stream of consciousness after hooking us in with just a simple list of measured ingredients so effectively that the admissions officer at Johns Hopkins said, “Her essay is clever and well written, but more importantly it shows us her willingness to try different things, to embrace the different interests and aspects of her own personality, and to approach different things with a positive attitude.” She took a risk and it paid off because it was authentic to who she is. Below is one of my favorite paragraphs that uses specific examples and evocative details — a rickety stool, Pantene shampoo, slanted spatulas — to place the reader right in her childhood home.

“The only true fried rice recipe is no recipe at all. There are no measurements, no exact instructions, no timer for how long something should sizzle in the pan. There are only smells and feelings and memories. I learned to cook fried rice on the rickety stool covered in Blues Clues stickers, surrounded by the scents of my nainai’s Minnie Mouse apron, my yéyé’s cashmere sweater, or my mama’s Pantene shampoo; in the comfort of our cozy condo and our sweltering Hángzhou apartment; by watching the eggs crack over delicate china bowls, tossed and stirred in woks using slanted wooden spatulas. We used however much leftover rice we had, however many eggs we found appropriate, and a combination of anything and everything or nothing sitting in the fridge.” (Read her full essay here).

TOPIC 6: The Power of Loss in a Single Letter

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Harvard (and viral on Tik Tok so you know it’s legit)

WHY IT WORKED: Originally going viral on Tik Tok, she carefully explored the impact of losing her mother in a clever literary analysis of the plural “s.” She explored the life-changing distinction between having parents --plural s -- and a parent, singular. This play on words introduced her story as well as functioned as a window into her personality. Her essay tracked the letter “s” from having parents, to a parent, to a passion signifying the kind of student she was going to be. It’s heartwarming, but also has a resolution which is key for talking about hard topics. Writing about death can be challenging without sounding cliche, but she managed to not only pull it off but also tug at your heartstrings by adding humor and poetic license.

A heartbreaking quote: “I hate the letter S. Of the 164,777 words with S, I only grapple with one. To condemn an entire letter because of its use .0006 percent of the time sounds statistically absurd, but that one case changed 100 percent of my life. I used to have two parents, but now I have one, and the S in parents isn’t going anywhere.” (Read more here).

TOPIC 7: Reclaiming a Mixed Identity with a Love of Band Practice

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Johns Hopkins University.

WHY IT WORKED: Combining adept self-reflection and clever wordplay, this essay takes us through the experience of racial microaggressions and how that inspired her to reclaim her identity thanks to her passion: band. She reclaims a racial insult in her own powerful self-reflection. This shows how she was positively changed by a negative experience, displaying a kind of grit necessary at a challenging college.The Johns Hopkins Admissions Committee said, “From this essay, we can see Faith as someone who is independent and thoughtful, ambitious in her interests, and open to introspection—all skills that will help her as she enters college.” (Read her essay here and a sample of her powerful writing below).

“I am my own music maker. I will celebrate the intricacies of ballroom music and belt out a One Direction tune as a proud black woman. That is my style. That is my choice of expression. If allowed, stereotypes can snowball until I am completely consumed by my desire to become the black woman society expects. But I refuse to be held down by its grip because I decide my definition of the black experience. My musical interests are not a betrayal that isolates me from my roots, but rather a beautiful addition that enhances my ever-evolving character. Am I an Oreo? Yes, but by my own design. The creamy white center does not represent a betrayal, but rather a blank canvas patiently waiting for my own input. With pencil in hand, I will not hesitate to make my mark.”

TOPIC 8: How One Generic Concert Can Change Your Life

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Tufts University.

WHY IT WORKED: Highlighting her character, this essay used show not tell techniques to take a pivotal moment in her life — a Tom Petty concert — to reflect her worldview. By being able to delve deep into how her character has been affected by one concert and music in general, she’s able to share glimpses into her family life and how she approaches the world overall.

Check out this standout quote: “And so I have become a curator of feeling. I am always listening, collecting the art of others. I have stared at paintings until they stared back at me. I cry while I watch almost every film, sometimes just because the characters are nice to each other. I'm as moved by the narrative of my old American Girl Doll books as I am by Dickens. It's all swirls of feelings, of lessons from others that mirror those you need to learn yourself. Art embodies empathy and empathy has become too easy to lose touch with. Art is the same world seen from a different heart. I look at characters or creators and think, ‘How did you become the way you are?’ I can look at others and think the same thing. And I have the chance to ask them.” (Read Kaycee’s essay here).

TOPIC 9: Breaking the Fourth Wall To Reveal Something Deeply Personal

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to Hamilton College

WHY IT WORKED: This student explains his relationship to personal essays and the irony of having to write one for college admissions. He was conceived via artificial insemination and his mother chose his donor parent by the essay that they wrote. By breaking the fourth wall and still showing his values, this tongue-in-cheek statement shows how creative you can get with your personal statement. This essay is also a good reminder that there’s no such thing as “too personal,” which is a question I get all the time. As long as you handle your topic with vulnerability and honesty, and share how this time in your life has shaped you, you can’t go wrong.

Take a look: “My donor’s file is the first item I packed when I recently had to evacuate my home during a hurricane. I treasure and protect the papers because they contain the only insight I have into half of my DNA. His essay is the sole connection I have to a man I will never meet. I will never know more about my donor than what he chose to reveal in his personal essay.” (Read Mitchell’s essay here).

Topic 10: How a Cartoon can Inspire Confidence

SUCCESS RATE: Got into 9 colleges including UCLA and USC (and over 1.4M likes on Tik Tok)

This student took what could have been a totally random childhood subject (Spongebob SquarePants) and instead turned it into a launchpad for her love of creativity. She plays to her honest strengths – being funny. She writes, “I've devoted 13 years of my life to this sponge.” She makes her tongue-in-cheek passion believable with vivid examples. She shows rather than tells with explicit details: she’s seen every episode 8 times and seen the movie over 100 times. In addition to a lovable whole-hearted tone that makes the essay feel relatable, she weaves in nods to her culture effortlessly (“I would run into the apartment and beg my grandma to watch Spongebob instead of her melodramatic Bollywood movies”), showcasing her identity along the way. And that’s exactly why she went viral on Tik Tok and got accepted to colleges with a 15% acceptance rate. (Read more here).

She illustrates the main conflict of feeling insecure through an all too familiar scene: “I was in a rut. I felt mediocre all the time. ... I thought back to the first episode of SpongeBob in which a swarm of anchovies came to feast at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is seeking employment as a fry cook. He keeps calm amongst all of the anchovy chaos despite it being his first day, and efficiently serves Krabby Patties. I questioned when I became so doubtful. If SpongeBob could serve a thousand anchovies on his first day, then I could definitely try to gain some lost confidence back." (Watch Kalissa read her essay here).

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on 4/25/18 and has been updated with new relevant information.