6 Successful Admissions Essays About Race That Worked—And Why

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6 Successful Admissions Essays About Race That Worked—And Why

1) Use specific examples to explain your struggles

Successful essay excerpt: “Growing up in a small, conservative community, it's easy to be shoved into your own category if you don't look or act like everyone else. My hair and eyes, instead of being blonde and blue like all of my Czech classmates, were chocolate and espresso. My last name had a "z" in it, and my grandmother called me "mija." By the time I was in grade school, the teasing began, and I was hurt and confused. Didn't all grandmothers call their grandchildren "mija"? Why did everyone except for me have blue eyes? And why was I being called "dirty Mexican" when I was cleaner than the boy who made the remark?” Christina, Yale Class of 2022

Why this works: This paragraph highlights how easy it is to be ostracized in your community due to your external differences. Christina was proud to be Hispanic, but the consistent bullying she received from her peers made it hard for her to keep that perspective on her heritage. This section of her essay portrays her struggle with racism and she later uses it to show her evolution of understanding her own culture as well as that of people around her. 

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Pomona, Columbia, USC, UCLA, UC Berkeley & More (Transfer)

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Pomona, Columbia, USC, UCLA, UC Berkeley & More (Transfer)

“I wanted to share my gratitude for the guidance and support you gave me those months ago. Your feedback was immeasurably valuable, and I truly appreciated your accommodation of my various constraints. Most of all, I was moved by your words of encouragement during an application process riddled with worry. Thank you again!”

-Nick, accepted to Pomona, Columbia, USC, UCLA, UC Berkeley, UC Santa Barbara

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Purdue Engineering, Georgia Tech, UC Berkeley & more

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Purdue Engineering, Georgia Tech, UC Berkeley & more

“The Common App and Supplemental essays I crafted with Yelena's help helped me achieve my dream of getting into UC Berkeley! When I contacted her last summer, my essay had several bumps. Yelena suggested starting from scratch with a completely different prompt, and while the task seemed daunting to me, I'm thankful that she was with me every step of the way. We had many phone calls and brainstorming sessions, and her advice was incredibly thoughtful, detailed, and personalized for my needs. One thing I loved, in particular, was the Thought Starters activity she gave me to brainstorm which I continue to use today.

During the essay-writing process, I found it impressive how, after I literally dumped my disorganized thoughts onto paper, she was able to connect them into a cohesive and compelling essay. My final products were a lot more polished than I could have ever accomplished on my own. I was forced to think and reflect every step of the way, and I admire how she pushed me to write everything in my own words. Whenever I go back and read my essays, I find myself consistently proud of them, and that's all thanks to Yelena's help.”
-Saumya, accepted to Georgia Tech, UCLA, and Carnegie Mellon, Berkeley, and Purdue Engineering

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to the University of Vanderbilt

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to the University of Vanderbilt

"Just a little over a month before my 20+ college applications were due, I had made little progress on my personal statement and decided to contact Yelena. Her understanding and flexibility subdued my anxieties but also allowed me to stay on track towards completing my essay in time for submission. In that short of a time frame, I grew from being relatively insecure about my essay to being extremely proud of it. Yelena gave the narrative I had placed on paper an unrivaled sense of vitality and power. She narrowed in on the formative experiences that made me more than a score or a GPA. Yelena not only transformed my paper, while still preserving my voice and message, but gave me an unparalleled confidence going into the final steps of the admissions process. She made my dreams of going to an elite school tangible. I cannot emphasize enough how helpful and encouraging Yelena has been throughout the process, and I wholeheartedly recommend her services to others wishing to give themselves an edge in writing." -Laura, accepted to the University of Vanderbilt

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Williams College

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Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Williams College

"Yelena helped illuminate my strengths on my personal statement, breaking my habit of cutting myself short. She used her excellent intuition to select compelling scenes, asking questions that allowed me to elaborate on my defining moments. She also helped cut my repetitions, maximizing the use of space on the very limiting word count.

"I'm extremely grateful for Yelena's help for she is one of the reasons why I'm able to have the opportunity to attend a top liberal arts school on the opposite of side of the country from where I live." -Octavio, Williams College

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🚨🚨🚨 Last day to register for the June 3 SAT! 🚨🚨🚨

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🚨🚨🚨 Last day to register for the June 3 SAT! 🚨🚨🚨
  • Ring the alarm! Today's the last day to register for the June 3 SAT! Late registrations can still be made until May 24. You can register for the June 10 ACT with a late fee until May 19. [College Board] [ACT]
     
  • While we're on the topic, here's how one first-generation student from Flint, Michigan learned to take the SAT "like a rich kid." To recap: "They approached studying for the SAT with a near-professional intensity that was alien to me. I realized that they didn’t just want to score exceptionally well on the SAT. They were gunning for a score on the Preliminary SAT exams that would put them in the top percentile of students in the United States and make them National Merit Scholars in the fall. As a result, all the drilling they did for an exam that is supposed to be an equalizer in ranking students according to raw test-taking skills was only widening the American achievement gap." [NYT] I agree. To check out my pro bono services, click here.
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5 (Very Tempting) Personal Essay Habits to Stop Right Now

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5 (Very Tempting) Personal Essay Habits to Stop Right Now

Let's establish something from the start: admissions essays are freaking hard. Most schools don't emphasize personal essays in their academic curriculum, so it's not surprising that many students struggle with the form. Unless you're a creative writing prodigy, you may not know how to be confessional without revealing TMI, how to impress strangers without being annoying, and how to write well without sounding like a blowhard. Here are five newbie mistakes any senior should avoid in their personal statement, from Ivy League valedictorians to veteran admissions reps.

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