To give you a recent admissions perspective, I’m introducing a new guest post series from current college students, starting with my sister Anna Shuster: a junior at Emory.

Rejection Sucks

You wake up to the grating sound of your alarm knowing today’s THE day. The one you’ve been thinking of since you’ve clicked submit. Expecting an ominous email that’s gonna tell you are you in or out.

You go about your day as if it’s just another regular day. The rest of the world is going on as if it’s just a regular day. But when you refresh your email to see the Thank You for Your Interest in Applying instead of Congratulations! in the subject line, your heart sinks to your stomach. It freaking sucks.

I know because I was one of you once. Three years ago in December, I got rejected by the school I applied to Early Decision and I cried in the back of my friend’s boyfriend’s car (not funny in the moment but looking back on how it must have been like to witness the breakdown I always LOL). I was embarrassed to tell my teachers and college counselors who worked so hard with me to get in. I was also so confused because so many people told me I had everything it took to get in— I had the right GPA, the demonstrated interest, and not to keep bragging but my application essays were killer. It felt like then I must have been the problem, not my capabilities. If I had been someone else, I was worthy of my coming-of-age dream. My teenage angst mixed with this very painful rejection left me in a time where I was the meanest to myself. I kept looking for reasons to place the blame on, but once I accepted the reality that things didn’t go the way I planned and let go, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

So here I am, a junior at her third-choice University, who is SO grateful I took that big fat L.

Feel Your Feelings

But I won’t lie. Getting rejected felt TERRIBLE. I’d suggest not tearing yourself up though and pause the what if’s (that’s been proven to lead to poor mental and physical health FYI). Remember the college admissions officers only spend around 12 minutes on your application. Just because someone was a better fit doesn’t make you a bad fit. Someone else’s accomplishments don’t nullify the existence of yours. A healthy way of processing would be to try listing everything you’re excited about for college (iced coffees before exams are one of mine currently) and everything you’re proud of yourself for.

One thing that helped me process my rejection was just talking about it. You’ll find camaraderie in the least likely of places. One of my favorite teachers in high school — we’re talking about a respected person with multiple degrees in a position of leadership at an elite college preparatory school — didn’t get into one school her senior year. Literal nightmare scenario. But hey, she ended up just fine! And that means so will you. 

There is so much pressure seniors face about which institutions of higher education we attend. After all, we grow up hearing that it’s supposed to be the most memorable time of our lives! Now that I’m on the other side and am close with students from UCs to State Schools to Liberal Arts Colleges to Ivy Leagues, I can confidently say that we are all living the same college experience filled with quarter-life-crises, bad choices turned into life lessons, and exciting relationships.

The Painful Truth

So it’s definitely not the end of the world even if it feels that way right now. You’re just dealing with a harsh reality. You are so young and you have the whole world ahead of you. You are going to accomplish so much that you have no way of even predicting right now.

The painful truth: more people are applying to college leading to lower admissions rates, you weren’t a good fit at that moment in time, and the college admissions team knows the school better than you do. No matter how much research you did or how many friends you have at that school, you will not know the campus and who fits in or excels the way they do. They are literally paid to know.

Think about this: you got into your reach school. Now what? You’re struggling academically and are holed up in the library without ways to connect to future lifetime friends.

Now put this into perspective: you put the deposit down for, let’s say, your third choice— give or take. You get into a special research program and are challenged, but you love that moment where you can relax and just have fun learning for the sake of it.

(Let me tell you, if I ended up at my dream school that rejected me, I would have not had time to explore research outside of class and my Californian demeanor would have left me ill-prepared for a harsh winter).

Besides, you may still end up going to your dream school. Got on the waitlist or deferred? Write a letter to your regional admissions officer. Still didn’t get in? You could also always transfer (but I have a feeling you’ll probably fall in love wherever you end up going). 

It’s not the college that’s going to have an impact on your future — that’s all you.

Have an admissions story you’d like to share? Email me with the subject line: Guest Post yelena.shuster@gmail.com