How to Revise Your Admissions Essay
/Aha, you’ve written your first draft. Congratulations! This is the hard part. Now, give it a breather and put it away for a few days at least so your words will seem fresh for the revision process.
First, look for repetitions.
Are you using the same word over and over? (Everyone has their own personal crutch). If you're a vocab savant, check for other repetitions like, are your sentences all periodic and using the same construction? Like life, good writing needs variety.
What about wordiness?
Are there certain phrases or cliches you could do away with? Read your essay out loud so this is easier to hear. Normally, adverbs are a good place to start cutting. You’ll feel if a sentence feels too long when you have to stop in the middle of reading it out loud to catch your breath.
Remember to check for tone and voice.
Is it consistent throughout the piece? Remember the essay should sound like you. If midway through, it sounds like your mom took over, rewrite it so the voice is yours. Also, look out for any abrupt tone switches that disrupt the reading process.
Then edit your essay for a good flow.
If you’re unsure about your outline, one trick I recommend is printing out the draft and writing in pen next to each paragraph the role it plays in the essay: “opening anecdote” or “deeper background” for example. This is my secret sauce that will fundamentally change the way you approach writing, especially long-form prompts that ask a few different questions.
Finally, don't forget grammar and punctuation.
After printing and reading aloud, I recommend sharing your draft with someone you trust since it’s easier for a stranger to catch typos. Grammarly is also a free tool you can use for a final proofread.
Soon, you'll get addicted to editing. This is the fun part (I swear). As long as you wait long enough so the words seem new to you, you will be able to ruthlessly edit your essay as though it were a stranger's piece.
Over the years, I’ve read and edited hundreds of college application essays. I’ve seen the good and bad (and very bad). Discover how to avoid the Common App essay's most common mistakes.
1) Using Bloated Thesaurus Speak
Most students think a higher vocabulary (read: thesaurus) will make their essay sound better. That instinct may work for your more formal academic essays, but it’s wrong in the case of the personal statement: the essay should sound how you speak, not a formal academic letter. "Thenceforward" and “heretofore,” for example, seem way too formal and almost sound funny in this personal context. Would you ever use those words in real life? Didn’t think so.