10 College Admissions Essays That Worked—And Why

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10 College Admissions Essays That Worked—And Why

TOPIC 1: Redefining The Idea of Masculinity While Growing Up With Two Moms

SUCCESS RATE: Accepted to all 10 schools he applied to, including Cornell University, Dartmouth College, Yale University, Princeton University, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. 

WHY IT WORKED: Colleges want to see exceptional students who overcome adversity because it shows strength and students are not afraid to challenge societal norms, because that takes risk. This essay manages to convey both at once.

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9 Common College Essay Mistakes To Avoid in Your Personal Statement

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9 Common College Essay Mistakes To Avoid in Your Personal Statement

Over the years, I’ve read and edited hundreds of college application essays. To help you during your writing stage, I’ve recapped my most useful edits below so you can avoid the common mistakes that pop up most often in college admissions essays.

1) Using Bloated Thesaurus Speak

Most students think a higher vocabulary (read: thesaurus) will make their essay sound better. That instinct may work for your more formal academic essays, but it’s wrong in the case of the personal statement: the essay should sound how you speak, not a formal academic letter. "Thenceforward" and “heretofore,” for example, seem way too formal and almost sound funny in this personal context. Would you ever use those words in real life? Didn’t think so.

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How to Revise Your Admissions Essay

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How to Revise Your Admissions Essay

Aha, you’ve written your first draft. Congratulations! This is the hard part. Now, give it a breather and put it away for a few days at least so your words will seem fresh for the revision process.

First, look for repetitions.

Are you using the same word over and over? (Everyone has their own personal crutch). If you're a vocab savant, check for other repetitions like, are your sentences all periodic and using the same construction? Like life, good writing needs variety.

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The One Thing Most Students Forget Before Submitting Their Admissions Essay

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The One Thing Most Students Forget Before Submitting Their Admissions Essay

You spent months perfecting your essay, going through multiple revisions and edits. You've cut the cliches and got it down to word count. You've finessed the opening and closing lines to eye-catching perfection. Everyone from your counselor to your mom's cousin twice removed has proofread it and given it their seal of approval. Maybe you've even hired a guru or two to give it the professional once (or twice) over.

Now all you have to do is click submit, right? And then you'll breathe the sweet victory of completion.

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What High School Doesn't Teach You About The Admissions Essay

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What High School Doesn't Teach You About The Admissions Essay

Most high schools focus on teaching you the academic essay: you know, thesis statement, supporting paragraphs, and a closing paragraph summarizing the above. There is a pretty exact formula you have to stick with and not much room for creativity. Your tone is overly formal and you are expected to cite and analyze texts for a unique argument and conclusion. The good news: You spend 4 years learning this academic skill, which is helpful and will be what you are expected to write in college. 

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This is What Admissions Officers See When You Use a Thesaurus in Your Personal Statement

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This is What Admissions Officers See When You Use a Thesaurus in Your Personal Statement

When writing the essay that *may* determine the rest of your life, you may be tempted to embellish a little. You're competing with SO MANY OTHER KIDS that you think you need to sound that much smarter and well-read. The best writers use big words, right?

Wrong.

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The Most Important Quality To Show In Your Admissions Essay

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The Most Important Quality To Show In Your Admissions Essay

 "Letters of recommendation are typically superfluous, written by people who the applicant thinks will impress a school. We regularly receive letters from former presidents, celebrities, trustee relatives and Olympic athletes. But they generally fail to provide us with another angle on who the student is, or could be as a member of our community."

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Admission Essay Lessons from Tonight's Election Debate

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Admission Essay Lessons from Tonight's Election Debate

Whatever your politics, you can agree that presidential debates can bring out the best in people—or the worst. Some people onstage look calm, educated, and even presidential. Others look mean-spirited, angry, and even unstable. So what does that have to do with the admissions essay? Republican or Democrat, you have to come across as LIKABLE in your personal statement. Based on countless interviews with admissions officers, that is the #1 quality they look for when making the decision to accept you or not. So how do you that exactly? 

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5 (Very Tempting) Personal Essay Habits to Stop Right Now

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5 (Very Tempting) Personal Essay Habits to Stop Right Now

Let's establish something from the start: admissions essays are freaking hard. Most schools don't emphasize personal essays in their academic curriculum, so it's not surprising that many students struggle with the form. Unless you're a creative writing prodigy, you may not know how to be confessional without revealing TMI, how to impress strangers without being annoying, and how to write well without sounding like a blowhard. Here are five newbie mistakes any senior should avoid in their personal statement, from Ivy League valedictorians to veteran admissions reps.

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The Admissions Essay Mistake You Can't Make

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The Admissions Essay Mistake You Can't Make

The New York Times recently revealed a major red flag in the admissions essay: the cliched community service trip. In Frank Bruni's column, "To Get to Harvard, Go to Haiti?" he explains how disingenuous that idea comes across:

It turns developing-world hardship into a prose-ready opportunity for growth, empathy into an extracurricular activity.
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