7 Secrets to Writing a Successful College Transfer Essay
/1) Don’t Sound Negative
Even though you’re leaving your current school for negative reasons, you have to be strategic in how you explain them so you don’t sound like you’re complaining. It’s a difficult balance to strike, for sure, but you have to be very concrete in what change you’re looking for so it doesn’t sound like you’re bad-mouthing your current situation (or worse, not appreciating it for superficial reasons like rankings).
You don’t want to sound like you're making excuses and not taking the initiative to make your current college work for you. You want it to seem like you've exhausted every resource and really belong somewhere else. Listing specific examples of what is missing will help with this, in addition to listing what you hope to have at your next school.
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Overusing adverbs (basically, essentially, actually) means that your verbs are not strong enough on their own. Wordy phrases and fragments slow down your narrative. Pedantic words like “myriad” and “plethora” should only be used if you know what they mean - otherwise you come across as someone disingenuous who used athesaurus to sound smarter (something admissions officers can easily see through.)
Inspired by Karyn, here are a few more things I would add to your admissions essay checklist for before you submit: