Testimonial Tuesday: Accepted to Johns Hopkins
/When Ben reached out to me, he was convinced he had the best admissions essay topic about helping out in a factory for a summer. After all, his family, friends, and even teachers all said this was a unique way to show his personality. Unfortunately, after multiple revisions, his authentic self just couldn’t come across no matter how hard he tried to make it work. It was an important lesson in not forcing a topic —even if you’re convinced it’s the coolest idea ever— if it’s just not working. Maybe the idea is great but your experience wasn’t impactful enough to write a whole essay about it. The language felt verbose and overwritten, which is another sign the idea wasn’t working.
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Over the years, I’ve read and edited hundreds of college application essays. I’ve seen the good and bad (and very bad). Discover how to avoid the Common App essay's most common mistakes.
1) Using Bloated Thesaurus Speak
Most students think a higher vocabulary (read: thesaurus) will make their essay sound better. That instinct may work for your more formal academic essays, but it’s wrong in the case of the personal statement: the essay should sound how you speak, not a formal academic letter. "Thenceforward" and “heretofore,” for example, seem way too formal and almost sound funny in this personal context. Would you ever use those words in real life? Didn’t think so.