You Just Got Deferred By Your Dream College. Now What?
/1) Make a list of all your updates since you submitted the original application
Start by thinking through every category of your life: academics, extracurriculars, personal, family, etc. Then write a bullet point list of every update you can think of for each category. Once you’re done, pick the most exciting and impressive updates to share for one powerhouse paragraph of examples. Think: winning an award, receiving a grant, making it to the championship, etc. The goal of the update paragraph is to show why you’re a great pick for the college.
Another great way of using the update paragraph is to hone in on your brand and remind the admissions officers that you’re passionate about climate change, for example. Remember to tie in academics too: how you were able to maintain or improve your grades despite harder classes and more extracurricular involvement.
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Over the years, I’ve read and edited hundreds of college application essays. I’ve seen the good and bad (and very bad). Discover how to avoid the Common App essay's most common mistakes.
1) Using Bloated Thesaurus Speak
Most students think a higher vocabulary (read: thesaurus) will make their essay sound better. That instinct may work for your more formal academic essays, but it’s wrong in the case of the personal statement: the essay should sound how you speak, not a formal academic letter. "Thenceforward" and “heretofore,” for example, seem way too formal and almost sound funny in this personal context. Would you ever use those words in real life? Didn’t think so.