You Just Got Deferred By Your Dream College. Now What?
/1) Make a list of all your updates since you submitted the original application
Start by thinking through every category of your life: academics, extracurriculars, personal, family, etc. Then write a bullet point list of every update you can think of for each category. Once you’re done, pick the most exciting and impressive updates to share for one powerhouse paragraph of examples. Think: winning an award, receiving a grant, making it to the championship, etc. The goal of the update paragraph is to show why you’re a great pick for the college.
Another great way of using the update paragraph is to hone in on your brand and remind the admissions officers that you’re passionate about climate change, for example. Remember to tie in academics too: how you were able to maintain or improve your grades despite harder classes and more extracurricular involvement.
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Overusing adverbs (basically, essentially, actually) means that your verbs are not strong enough on their own. Wordy phrases and fragments slow down your narrative. Pedantic words like “myriad” and “plethora” should only be used if you know what they mean - otherwise you come across as someone disingenuous who used athesaurus to sound smarter (something admissions officers can easily see through.)
Inspired by Karyn, here are a few more things I would add to your admissions essay checklist for before you submit: